As you readers know, I love The Frisky. While browsing the website the other day, I came across an article titled: I'm in a Great Relationship, So Can I Stop Freaking Out Now?
The article talks about a girl that is supposed to meet her boyfriends sister for the first time, and he doesn't respond to a text, and she freaks out. Here is the line that resonated with me the most: "Something about dating and seeing how hot can turn so quickly into cold makes it very hard to believe that someone’s feelings for you won’t just … change."
I have had that happen to me. Several times. I will be dating/in a relationship with someone,and out of the blue the they break up with me. After several times, it began to take a toll on me.
Another line from the article: "Sometimes I feel like one of those people on an airplane who ducks and covers, preparing for a crash landing when there’s only a slight touch of turbulence."
I do this all the time. I create an idea in my head that he doesn't like me anymore, and I run with it. I'm sure I drive my mother and my roomie insane with this. Sometimes I freak myself out so badly, I have a hard time getting back to a normal place.
Now, before you go thinking I am some crazy chick that obviously is doing something to facilitate these breakups, I would like to clarify that I probably wasn't picking the best mates in my teens/early 20's.
And another line: "I’m finding it strange that so much of the drama in my relationship happens solely in my head."
I am 100% guilty of creating relationship drama in my head. I know I am. I just can't help it sometimes. I definitely have abandonment issues. And I hate labeling myself as having "issues" but I can't think of anything else to call it. I am a functioning member of society who is able to build and maintain (for the most part, haha!) relationships with fellas, but at the same time I worry that it will suddenly end with no warning, leaving me wondering where it went wrong.
After my last relationship ended (out of the blue during a Thursday night phone call after 8 months), I was left in tears, and feeling confused like so many other times. And when I say it ended, it ended. There was no talking, no texting, no emails, nothing. He walked away from me like we have never dated, met each others parents, or gone to family weddings together.
When I starting dating Kyle, I was in a bad place. I didn't trust him because of what Kent had done to me. Over this past year, Kyle has done nothing but make me feel secure. Sometimes I still find ways to worry it will abruptly end, although not that often (pat myself on the back).
There are some tips in the article on how to ease yourself during freakouts. Does anyone else struggle with these similar feelings?
I definitely did struggle with things like this in the past, but I had an interesting way of dealing with it. I would leave first. Part of it was that I got bored easily and was truly through with the poor guy before he even got his foot in the door, but even relationships that looked promising would be cut short by my guarded ways. I even did it to my now-husband, but luckily he forgave me when I came crawling back. ;-)
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. I am pretty sure when I started dating Kyle, I was subconsciously trying to push him away but he withstood my efforts and I'm so glad he did.
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