There are articles all over the internet about things you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman & what to not say to a new mother, & I have 2 things I would like to address.
As a new mother, you are asked a million questions about your baby & your new life. Most of the time, I am happy to answer the questions because it means I get to talk about my wonderful new life.
And then there are 2 questions that irk me:
1. Is your baby a good baby?
I might be silly but the way I answer this question can make me feel a little guilty. Sam is such a sweet, cuddly, happy baby. And he also is somewhat fussy and temperamental and particular. There are lots of times that I am the only one that can calm him. I would not describe him as chill or laid back. So part of me feels guilty when I don't answer "oh yes, he's such a good baby!"
He's my baby. Crying or smiling or cuddling, he's all mine and I will look back on these times and be thankful that I got to spend so much time learning about my baby.
2. When do you go back to work?
This. This question makes me feel lots of emotions. Anger, annoyance, sadness, anxiety.
Before I even had Sam, I stressed about going back to work. And now I have him here and I can't even fathom leaving him for the day.
I work a sales job that allows me to crest & manage my own schedule which is one of the main reasons I am returning. The other reason is that we are lucky enough to have my mom watching him.
But even with all of that said, if Kyle & I agreed that I was able to stay home, I would turn in my resignation and not bat an eye. That could happen in the future but for now, I am going to attempt to work.
So, please do not ask a new mother when she is returning to work. She likely has that date burned into her brain & thinks about it constantly. She is probably crying about it. She is sad and doesn't want to leave her baby and go back to work, even if she can work part time most days.
So just don't ask.